Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
It's official drugs can't kill me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
