Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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