I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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