I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
