Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
