Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
