hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
