Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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