sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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