So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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