But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
