i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
