one might say we're banned from that church
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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