please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize