this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
