I'm lost and stupid without you.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
