ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
