she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
