I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
