Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize