how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
