no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
