no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
