Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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