I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
