they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
