It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
