My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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