Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
