i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
