You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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