after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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