ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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