literally had 100 drinks last night.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
