There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
