True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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