i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize