you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
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