He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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