the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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