i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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