butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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