He managed to light the Jello on fire...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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