I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ladies don't puke and tell
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
