Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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