3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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