i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
