Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
