Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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