So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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