Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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