just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
