The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
