Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
nutella sex= disaster
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh god it's open bar.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
