He is such a slut. More and more my type.
In America we eat man semen.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
