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• (323): View more from California

  Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak

  (1-323): View more from California

  I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole

  (1-323): View more from California

  She's blonde

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.

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• (845): View more from New York

  Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.

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• (409): View more from Texas

  That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"

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• (817): View more from Texas

  When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?

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• (516): View more from New York

  yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.

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