why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
