I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
