yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
