so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
