if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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