this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
