too bad you live with your parents still
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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