Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize