We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize