Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
