Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
